The finest wines on the planet earth are Charles Shaw's Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Chardonnay, and Sauvignon Blanc (avoid the Shiraz), $1.99 a bottle at your local Trader Joes. Why the winos of the world haven't switched from Thunderbird to "Two Buck Chuck" is unlikely to be a topic of debate on Hardball, but as a former rich man, it's your duty to raise the poverty bar just a little by drinking something that's actually wine and not just an alcohol delivery system.
Surely you've tried Grappa, the second pressing of quality grapes with water added that the poor of France and Italy consume with a passion. It's cheap and a reasonable facsimile of the wine made from the first pressing. Charles Shaw is like that. It's unpretentious, not very good, but definitely not bad. All you have to do is pretend you've never tasted anything from Chateau Margaux. Just because you know there's a rarified strata of winemakers who devote their lives to producing the tastiest beverages known to man doesn't mean you can't enjoy something more common.
From the top down, nothing beats a thousand dollar, 40-year-old Trockenbeernauslese, but from the bottom up, there are so many hideous, gag inducing, totally unpalatable wines, that the simple pleasures of a cheap Charles Shaw can be the bright spot in your day.
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